Monday, September 29, 2008

Islamic Lie Detector Test:

Muslim: Book 001, Number 0176:
It is narrated on the authority of Usama b. Zaid that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) sent us in a raiding party. We raided Huraqat of Juhaina in the morning. I caught hold of a man and he said: There is no god but Allah, I attacked him with a spear. It once occurred to me and I talked about it to the Apostle (may peace be upon him). The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: Did he profess" There is no god but Allah," and even then you killed him? I said: Messenger of Allah, he made a profession of it out of the fear of the weapon. He (the Holy Prophet) observed: Did you tear his heart in order to find out whether it had professed or not? And he went on repeating it to me till I wished I had embraced Islam that day.
Sa'd said: By Allah, I would never kill any Muslim so long as a person with a heavy belly, i. e., Usama, would not kill. Upon this a person remarked: Did Allah not say this: And fight them until there is no more mischief and religion is wholly for Allah? Sa'd said: We fought so that there should be no mischief, but you and your companions wish to fight so that there should be mischief.

Mohammad sure knew how to tellif someone was lying - just pluck out their hearts. Amidst this revelation, the Islamic justice system has begun to pluck out the hearts of people in order to find out if they are telling the truth.

1) Why did Mohammad find it necessary to pluck one's heart out in order to see if they were telling the truth?
a) Was intuition not enough, like Sa'd?
b) How about logic and reasoning skills? (This may be problematic, where Muslims, following Mohammad's queue in outlwaing chess, may have outlawed any form of thought that involves reasoning abilities -
c) How about evidence?
d) How about from the person's mouth rather than plucking out his heart to see the truth?

2) Did Allah's Apostle find it more helpful to talk to inanimate objects like the belly of a dead animal to know the truth?

Tabari VI:66-67: ""We were sitting by an idol a month before the Messenger commenced his mission, having slaughtered camels. Suddenly we heard a voice calling from the belly of one: 'Listen to the wonder; There will be no more eavesdropping to overhear inspiration; We throw down shooting stars for a prophet in Mecca; His name is Ahmad. His place of emigration is Yathri.' We held back and marveled; then the Messenger began his mission."

a) Did Allah's Apostle find mammalian entrails to be more convincing than oral or written testimony?
b) Why dont more Muslim countries follow Mohammad's example in adopting this new form of evidence?
c) After all, if the entrails of a dead animal are a full proof method of determining the truth for Mohammad, than it should be good enough for every believer?

3) On a side note, why does the hadith say "There is no god but Allah, I attacked him with a spear." If Allah means God, than shouldn't it be "there is no Allah but Allah?"
a) Or, someone with knowledge of classical Arabic can attest to, the Arabic word for God is "Illah" and Allah is the name of one of many gods who lived in the Kabba (Afterall, Mohammad's father's name was Abdallah [slave to Allah])
b) When asking the cleric/mullah/other expert, it is best to "tear his heart in order to find out whether it had professed or not"

4) Sa'd makes the point that some Muslims fight just to make mischief?
a) Does that apply today?
b) Did Sahih Muslim include this hadith to show that Muslims were fighting because of blood lust rather than removing mischief, and that ultimately, their fighting caused more mischief than it ended?
c) Does this mean that some Muslims should ACTUALLY start to act like Sa'd and question other Muslims who fight too much?
i) Maybe strapping one's child to a bomb to blow themselves up may not be the answer to life's problems?

5) Finally, at the beginning of this hadith, it sates that Mohammad sent his troops on a raiding party.
a) Raids are unprovoked stirkes.
b) Why would Allah's Apostle raid another party?
c) Why did he want to cause mischief where non-existed?
d) Was Sa'd indirectly accusing the Prophet of causing mischief where none existed?
e) Where are Sa'd's and Mohammad's remains?
i) Maybe digging up their hearts will give us the answers we need in determining these questions, by using Mohammad's bulletproof method of deciphering the truth

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Food glorifies Allah while being eaten

Volume 4, Book 56, Number 779:
Narrated 'Abdullah:
We used to consider miracles as Allah's Blessings, but you people consider them to be a warning. Once we were with Allah's Apostle on a journey, and we ran short of water. He said, "Bring the water remaining with you." The people brought a utensil containing a little water. He placed his hand in it and said, "Come to the blessed water, and the Blessing is from Allah." I saw the water flowing from among the fingers of Allah's Apostle , and no doubt, we heard the meal glorifying Allah, when it was being eaten (by him).
1) Was Mohammad the original Ronald McDonald?
a) Did Mohammad create the happy meal?
b) When Mohammad ate his food, would he sing "Do you believe in magic, and I hope you do. You'll always have a friend wearing big red shoes?"
c) Was Mohammad eating Arabian McNugget Buddies?
2) Why was the food prostrating Allah for being eaten?
a) Isn't the food already dead?
b) Could the food actually be the forefather of McNugget Buddies?
3) When the food was prostrating Allah, was it doing it properly by facing Mecca?
a) Did it know that once it was transformed into Mohammad's poo, it would never face the Qibla?
b) Or would it face the Qibla through a screen?
c) Or more importantly, would it come out of Mohammad viewed by some of Mohammad's followers, and ultimately, being the inanimate object it was originally, prostrate itself again as a different form?
4) Was the food prostrating itself because it could not only be eaten by Mohammad, but by Jinns?
5) Did Bukhari include this to show that food can be magical?
a) Or did he include this to show that Allah's Apostle used to eat magical food?

Saturday, September 20, 2008

How to be a prophet Part I

Book 029, Number 5625:
Ubida b. as-Samit reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The vision of a believer is the forty-sixth part of Prophecy.

Book 029, Number 5629:
Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The vision Qf a pious man is the forty-sixth part of Prophecy.

Book 029, Number 5632:
Ibn 'Umar reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The pious dreams are the seventieth part of Prophecy.

The point of the above hadiths show that in order to be "part prophet" you should either have dreams of a pious man, or a pious dream...

1) What does having dreams of piety have anything to do with prophecy?
a) Prophecy is being able to predict something that is to come. WHat does prophecy have anything to do with it?
b)Mohammad would see dreams of little girls, who he would then marry. Does this mean that he is not a prophet?
Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) narrated that the Prophet (The blessing and peace of Allah be upon him) said to her: “You have been shown to me twice in my dream. I saw you pictured on a piece of silk and someone said (to me), ‘This is your wife.’ When I uncovered the picture, I saw that it was yours. I said: ‘If this is from Allah, it will be done.’”Sahih Al-Bukhari, Number 3895. See also Number 5078.
c) If Mohammad had seen a dream of a pious man, would he have also married him the same way he married Aisha?
i) Afterall, Mohammad's version of paradise is littered with young boys:
052.024 YUSUFALI: Round about them will serve, (devoted) to them, young male servants (handsome) as Pearls well-guarded.
056.017 YUSUFALI: Round about them will (serve) youths [otherwise known as boys - young girls are directly said in english tranlations] of perpetual (freshness),
076.019 "And immortal boys will circulate among them, when you see them you will count them as scattered pearls."
2) If Mohammad's version of a pious man is meant to be neutral, does piety really mean who one would marry or have sexual relations with?
a) After all, in order to be like Mohammad, wouldnt one assume that his actions are consistent with what is good and bad (i.e. having dreams about 6 year olds, and then marrying them). In this case, dreaming of someone pious and then marrying them, irrespective if they are male or female?
3) Ubida b. as-Samit, Abu Huraira and Umar use different percentages in calculating prophethood based on the same criteria
a) Does this mean that Muslim is implicitly saying that either Ubida b. as-Samit and Abu Huraira are lying, or is Umar the liar?

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Mohammad the witch doctor?

Sahih Al-Bukhari: Volume 7, Book 65, Number 356:

Narrated Sad:
Allah's Apostle said, "He who eats seven 'Ajwa dates every morning, will not be affected by poison or magic on the day he eats them."

1) Did Mohammad eat these seven 'Ajwa dates when Magic was worked on Allah's Apostle so that he began to imagine that he had done something although he had not?

a) Did these magic spells only apply to sexual relations with his wife?
Bukhari: Volume 8, Book 73, Number 89:
Narrated 'Aisha:
The Prophet continued for such-and-such period imagining that he has slept (had sexual relations) with his wives, and in fact he did not. One day he said, to me, "O 'Aisha! Allah has instructed me regarding a matter about which I had asked Him. There came to me two men, one of them sat near my feet and the other near my head. The one near my feet, asked the one near my head (pointing at me), 'What is wrong with this man? The latter replied, 'He is under the effect of magic.' ……

b) Or was it because Mohammad himself was Mohammad using magic spells as an excuse to about how he infact was impotent? "One day he said, to me, "O 'Aisha! Allah has instructed me regarding a matter about which I had asked Him." Bukhari: Volume 8, Book 73, Number 89
c) Why didnt the profit have any other children after Khadija, except for Ibrahim from his slave girl, Mary the Copt?

2) Do all Muslims eat seven 'Ajwa dates every morning?
3) Why didn't Mohammad eat 7 Ajwa dates as a cure for the magic curses Labad put on him?
4) How did Mohammad know about magic spells?
a) Did Mohammad dabble in the black arts?

Tabari VI:66
"A man came to the Prophet and said, 'Show me the seal which is between your shoulders, and if you lie under any enchantment [a demonic curse or spell] I will cure you, for I am the best enchanter [a witch practicing black magic] of the Arabs.' 'Do you wish me to show you a sign.' asked the Prophet. 'Yes. Summon that cluster.' So the Prophet looked at a cluster of dates hanging from a palm and summoned it, and began to snap his fingers until it stood before him. Then the man said, 'Tell it to go back.' and it went back. The enchanter said, 'I have never seen a greater magician than I have seen today.'"
b) Does this mean that the enchanter was right to call Mohammad a magician, and the Meccans were also right when they called him a demon possessed sorcerer? (038.004 YUSUFALI: So they wonder that a Warner has come to them from among themselves! and the Unbelievers say, "This is a sorcerer telling lies! "
c) Maybe Mohammad was right about Ajwa dates - he himself is a good magician!

6) Could Mohammad also pull a rabbit out of his turban?
a) Was Mohammad the first person to entertain children at birthday parties with magic tricks?
b) Does this mean that clowns at magic shows are halal?
c) Does this mean that being a sorceror is a noble profession (like the noble Quran)?
d) Does this mean that Muslims should also start celebrating Halloween as a religious holiday in commemoration of Mohammad's excellent wizardry?

Monday, September 15, 2008

Mohammad's followers drinking and smearing his ablution water...

Bukhari Volume 1, Book 4, Number 187:
Narrated Abu Juhaifa:
Allah's Apostle came to us at noon and water for ablution was brought to him. After he had performed ablution, the remaining water was taken by the people and they started smearing their bodies with it (as a blessed thing). The Prophet offered two Rakat of the Zuhr prayer and then two Rakat of the 'Asr prayer while an 'Anza (spear-headed stick) was there (as a Sutra) in front of him. Abu Musa said: The Prophet asked for a tumbler containing water and washed both his hands and face in it and then threw a mouthful of water in the tumbler and said to both of us (Abu Musa and Bilal), "Drink from the tumbler and pour some of its water on your faces and chests."

Ablution is the removal of any sexual residue, blood or excrement on a person. Here we see Mohammad's followers rubbing themselves with that water as a blessed thing, and Mohammad, who after washing his hands, and rinsing his mouth, asking his followers to drink from it. We also know that Mohammad had many semen stains, and would have to continually wash himself of those stains...

1) Why would his followers think of smearing their bodies with his leftover ablution water find it heavenly?
a) Did they think it was a blessing?
b) How could they be blessed by his cleaned up semen stains?
c) Did Allah find Mohammad's cleaned semen or blood stains to be a blessing?
d) Should all Muslims start smearing themselves in the ablution water of Mohammad's direct descendants (syeeds) in order to be like their ancestors smearing their bodies with Mohammad's remaining ablution water and regurgitated rinsing water?
e) Were his followers that fanatical that they would do anything for Mohammad, including blowing themselves up for a chance at paradise to drink from the rivers of wine (which are illegal on earth but not haram in heaven)
i) Think about it, why are the very same vices that would take you to hell allowed in heaven? Is this an allegory of Mohammad that maybe his heaven is really a hell?

2) Why did Mohammad order his companions to drink his regurgitated water?
a) Did he think he was being prophet-like in ordering his followers to drink up the remainder of what they cleaned themselves with?
b) Did he think like he was being like other prophets?
i) For instance, Jesus washed the feet of others. John 13:1-20. The point was that Jesus was to serve his followers. Here Mohammad, who claims to be like all other prophets before him, does the complete opposite by forcing his followers to swallow what he spit out.
ii) Or, was it because he thought this was his version of the Last Supper, where Jesus broke bread in an allegorical way saying it is his body? Matthew 26: 17-46 (NOTE - Jesus did not actually have people eat his body, or drink the remnants of what he washed himself with, but broke bread as a symbolism that his blood was being spilt when he died on the cross for the sins of mankind) (whether you believe this or not is irrlevant, take the point that he did NOT make his followers actually eat drink his blood, eat his body, or drink and smear his ablution water)
iii) No, because the point of all Muslims was to be a slave to Mohammad, and obey all that he said no matter the consequences of wreaking havoc on others.

3) What next?
a) Mohammad proscribing cures of Camel Urine and flies?
b) Oh wait, he already did that:

Sunday, September 14, 2008

The best places to sit are those which provide most room.

Narrated AbuSa'id al-Khudri: I heard the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) as saying: The best places to sit are those which provide most room.

Allah's apostle had a knack for stating the obvious. How did Muslims ever survive before he came to the scene?

These inspirational and religious gems truly did bring forth the golden age of mankind...

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Satan reciting Quran surahs?

Bukhari Volume 6, Book 61, Number 530:
Narrated Abu Mas'ud:
The Prophet said, "If somebody recited the last two Verses of Surat Al-Baqara at night, that will be sufficient for him."
Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah 's Apostle ordered me to guard the Zakat revenue of Ramadan. Then somebody came to me and started stealing of the foodstuff. I caught him and said, "I will take you to Allah's Apostle!" Then Abu Huraira described the whole narration and said:) That person said (to me), "(Please don't take me to Allah's Apostle and I will tell you a few words by which Allah will benefit you.) When you go to your bed, recite Ayat-al-Kursi, (2.255) for then there will be a guard from Allah who will protect you all night long, and Satan will not be able to come near you till dawn." (When the Prophet heard the story) he said (to me), "He (who came to you at night) told you the truth although he is a liar; and it was Satan."

Starting at the beginning, the zakat was called "revenue," not charity. By this time there were only Muslims in Medina, so the order to guard the storehouse means the first Muslims couldn't be trusted.

1) The thief couldn't be Satan, for why would a spirit steal food?

2) Further, why would someone trust a thief or Satan to share Qur'anic insights?
a) The referenced verse (2:255) says that Allah is God and that everything belongs to him. Quoting it makes no sense if Satan is Allah's enemy.

3) But it makes perfect sense if Satan is using Allah as a disguise.
a) Yet by saying that it will protect one from Satan, it no longer makes sense.

4) But speaking of senseless, how can one who told the truth be a liar?

Monday, September 8, 2008

Allah's Apostle receiving divine revelations

Allah's Apostle would receive his divine inspiration from the ringing of a bell, yet ALlah's apostle also said that the bell is the musical instrument of satan:

Sahih Muslim - Book 030, Number 5765:
'A'isha reported that Harith b. Hisham asked Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him): How does the the wahi (inspiration) come to you? He said: At times it comes to me like the ringing of a bell and that is most severe for me and when it is over I retain that (what I had received in the form of wahi), and at times an Angel in the form of a human being comes to me (and speaks) and I retain whatever he speaks.

Sahih Muslim - Book 024, Number 5279:
Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The bell is the musical instrument of the Satan.

1) Does this mean that Satan inspired Mohammad to come up with quranic revelations?

2) Why would Sahih Muslim include the above hadiths?
a) Was Muslim trying to show credence to the fact that Mohammad himself was not always divinely inspired, and in fact influenced by an evil supernatural force?
b) Was Sahih Muslim influenced by Al-Tabari's Takrih, and as such, trying to pay tribute and homage to Imam Tabari, who wrote -

Tabari VI:110 "Thus Allah removed the sorrow from his Messenger, reassured him about that which he had feared, and cancelled the words which Satan had cast on his tongue, that their gods were exalted high-flying cranes (goddesses) whose intercession was accepted with approval. He now revealed, following the mention of 'Al-Lat, Al-Uzza, and Manat.' the words: 'are yours the males and his the females? That indeed is an unfair division! They are but names which you and your fathers have given.' to the words: 'to whom he wills and accepts." [Qur'an 53:21]

c) Or was Sahih Muslim alluding to ALlah's own words in "Quran 022.052 YUSUFALI" where he said that Allah will remove verses from the Quran where Satan inspired Mohammad's Quran recitals?
"Never did We send a messenger or a prophet before thee, but, when he framed a desire, Satan threw some (vanity) into his desire: but Allah will cancel anything (vain) that Satan throws in, and Allah will confirm (and establish) His Signs: for Allah is full of Knowledge and Wisdom"

3) Why would Allah say that Mohammad threw in verses inspired by Satan?

4) Were the infamous verses recited to Mohammad by the ringing of a bell, Satan's instrument?
a) How many other times did Mohammad's divine inspiration come to him through Satan's preferred instrument, the bell?

5) Did only good verses come to Mohammad when he was under the covers with his teenage bride Aisha?

I do not know the answers to these questions...

Maybe the following website might shed light on the following matter:

Friday, September 5, 2008

Allah misunderstanding and bastardizing a Christian parable

Qur'an 7:39 "The first will say to the last: 'See there! No advantage have you over us; so taste the torment you have earned.' To those who reject Our signs and deny Our revelations, treating them with arrogance, no opening will there be of the gates of the Garden of Bliss, until the camel can pass through the eye of the needle. Such is our reward for the guilty. They shall have a bed on the floor of Hell and coverings of fire; this is how We reward them."

The Quran uses this phrase to express the idea of something that is unlikely to happen - Namely, if you do not believe in Mohammad, then you will go to hell, and will have a "bed on the floor of Hell and coverings of fire"

As such, Mohammad uses the analogy of whether a "camel can pass through the eye of a needle" in strict literal interpretation to show the "doom" of not following Mohammad.

Matthew 19:23-24:
23Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

In the above passage, Jesus uses a metaphor used in his time to analogize a rich man entering heaven. Namely, Jesus referred to a certain gate in Jerusalem called Needle's Eye. This entry-point was built like the eye of a needle and so low that a camel could pass only if it entered kneeling and unencumbered with baggage.

The point of this parable is that an eternal inheritance awaits those who unburden themselves of sin, and in particular, the things of this world. Also, kneeling represents submission and humility, which are required to enter into heaven.

It should be kept in mind that most (if not all) of Jesus' teachings were metaphors, and as such, the above example is consistent with how Jesus taught his message.


As can be clearly seen - Mohammad used the "eye of the needle" analogy in a literal interpretation, to bring about doom - Jesus used it in an analogy to talk about the difficulties of a rich person - namely, being humble before God.

Ultimately, the question that comes to mind is that if Allah is the same God of Jesus, then why would Allah bastardize Jesus' analogy by providing two contrasting two different ways of interpreting a metaphor concerning "the eye of the needle"?

The more likely scenario is that Mohammad heard this parable of the eye of the needle, and clearly bastardized it by switching the Jesus' message so that the analogy clearly focuses on people following Mohammad, otherwise meeting the hell fire, (whereas Jesus' focus of this parable was that the more wealth you have, the more honest you must strive to be).

1) So then, why did Mohammad need to use this parable?
a) Was it to give his message the religious foundation it was clearly lacking?
b) Was it is hope to confuse dessert Arabs, who slightly knew of Christianity, to deliver a supposed message of holiness by couching his message in Christian symbols?
c) Was it because Mohammad's message would be void of any type of religiousity or morality without him stealing and buttressing his message with any Christian symbolism?
i) i.e. Bukhari Volume 1, Book 8, Number 429: -
3. The booty has been made Halal (lawful) for me [Mohammad] (and was not made so for anyone else).

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Dr. Mohammad Part IV - The case of the lying abdomen

Bukhari - Volume 7, Book 71, Number 614:
Narrated Abu Said:
A man came to the prophet and said, 'My brother has got loose motions. The Prophet said, Let him drink honey." The man again (came) and said, 'I made him drink (honey) but that made him worse.' The Prophet said, 'Allah has said the Truth, and the abdomen of your brother has told a lie." (See Hadith No. 88)

Once again, Dr. Mohammad and Dr. Allah have come to the rescue of someone suffering from diarrhea...

1) Why don't all Muslims cure diarrhea with honey?
a) If a Muslim does not cure diarrhea with honey, does that mean that they are an apostate?
b) If they become worse, does this mean that their bodies are lying?
c) Or did Bukhari include this hadith to illustrate a metaphor showing that the body was rejecting Mohammad's cure because it was not really a cure, just like how his word was not really the word of God?

2) How did the abdomen tell a lie?
a) Because it refused to get better?
b) Wouldn't the abdomen try to get better?
c) Why didn't Mohammad accuse either the man delivering the news or the man afflicted with the illness of lying?
d) Is it because it was plain to everyone that the man had diarrhea, and that neither of them were lying, so Allah's apostle (may peace be upon him), needed to blame something else for telling a lie?

3) Was Mohammad's lack of a cure, a reason why Mohammad ordained that one method of martyrdom is by dying from diarrhea? (Follow up to:

Sahih Muslim - Book 020, Number 4705:
It has been narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that the, Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: While a man walks along a path, finds a thorny twig lying on the way and puts it aside, Allah would appreciate it and forgive him The Holy Prophet (may peace be upon him) said: The martyrs are of five kinds: one who dies of plague; one who dies of diarrhoea (or cholera) ; one who is drowned; one who is buried under debris and one who dies fighting in the way of Allah.

a) In other words, did Mohammad say that martyrdom by diarrhea in order to make amends to Mohammad's faulty cure of honey (which may have resulted in this poor man's death, whose abdomen allegedly lied)?

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Muslims should do the opposite of what Jews and Christians do!

Bukhari: Volume 7, Book 72, Number 786:
Narrated Abu Huraira :
The Prophet said, "Jews and Christians do not dye their hair so you should do the opposite of what they do. "

In this hadith, it is obvious that any Muslim who does not dye their hair is clearly an apostate to their faith. After all, Mohammad CLEARLY commanded Muslims to dye their hair.

However, if one argues that dying the hair is an example of what Christians and Jews dont do, and Muslims should do the complete opposite, does that apply to all facets of life?

For example, if Christians and Jews use logic, does this mean Muslims should not use logic? Could this be a reason why the Israelis are doing so well economically and the surrounding Muslim countries, surrounded by a plethora of natural resources are doing so poorly?

Could this be the reason why the Middle East has not come up with any new inventions, since the dawn of Islam, and that the doctrine of Islam has subjugated Middle Eastern people, once the epicenter of science and innovation, to a vapid state of mental inferiority, where its governments blame their misfortunes on anyone else but themselves?

As to why Bukhari included this hadith, once can only guess... As well, since Mohammad clearly did not know every Christian and Jew, which Christian or Jew was he talking about?

If some Christians and Jews dyed their hair, and others did not, what should Muslims do?

Did Mohammad think that dying hair was a religious thing? What purpose would that serve if it was relgious? What purpose would it serve by doing something opposite of what Christians and Jews did? Is this an implicit statement that Mohammad hated Christians and Jews, stemming from the fact they were more logical than he was, and stemming from the fact that ultimately, it was the Jews who sold Mohammad bible stories that Mohammad plagiarized in his Quran?

Ishaq:264 "Allah revealed concerning Finhas and the other rabbis: 'Allah issued orders to those who had received the Book [Torah]: 'You are to make it clear to men and not conceal it, yet they cast the Torah behind their backs and sold it for a small price. Wretched was their exchange. They will therefore receive a painful punishment.'"