Wednesday, November 26, 2008

During the Ramadan fast, it is OK to suck your young wife's tongue, provided you are an old man

Book 13, Number 2380:
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin:
The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) used to kiss her and suck her tongue when he was fasting.

Book 13, Number 2381:
Narrated AbuHurayrah:
A man asked the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) whether one who was fasting could embrace (his wife) and he gave him permission; but when another man came to him, and asked him, he forbade him. The one to whom he gave permission was an old man and the one whom he forbade was a youth.

Book 13, Number 2390:
Narrated AbuHurayrah:
The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: If anyone breaks his fast one day in Ramadan without a concession granted to him by Allah, a perpetual fast will not atone for it.

From the above three hadiths, one quickly becomes aware that Mohammad (may peace be upon him) used to love sucking on Aisha's tongue while he was fasting. In fact, he just liked to suck, period! (

Ignoring the sexual aspects of the Holy Prophet Mohammad (May peace be upon him) breaking his own fasting rules to suck on a little girl's tongue - which has already been discussed ad nauseum throughout the blog, the author wants to show that a young Muslim man is being discriminated by Mohammad in favour of older Muslim men.

1) Why does Mohammad (SAW) allow old Muslim men to break the fast and engage in sexual activities with their wives but not allow young men to do the same?
a) Is it because Mohammad (SAW) himself was old?
b) Is it because he viewed young men as competition - (How so, he was Allah's Apostle - why else would he forbid Muslims from marrying any of his widows after his death?)
c) Is it because old people really would not care as much about his rules, especially since they had been experienced in life?

2) If you break a the Ramadan fast for one day, Muslim Male, without a concession granted to him by Allah, a perpetual fast will not atone for it.
a) Allah is the most merciful, most kind.
b) Allah will never forgive you, even if you made a perpetual fast, for breaking the Ramadan fast for one day.
c) Allah is the most merciful, most kind.
d) Allah's Apostle broke the Ramadan fast by invading Makka during Ramadan.
e) Will Allah forgive Mohammad for breaking the Ramadan fast by invading Makka during Ramadan?
f) Will Allah forgive you for sucking on your wife (or wives) tongue(s) during Ramadan?
g) Allah will never forgive you, even if you made a perpetual fast, for breaking the Ramadan fast for one day.
h) Allah is the most merciful, most kind.
i) Will Allah forgive the Holy Prophet Mohammad (may peace be upon him), the greatest man to have ever lived?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Pick-up lines for Muslim Martyrs

Sahih Muslim: Book 020, Number 4705:
It has been narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that the, Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: While a man walks along a path, finds a thorny twig lying on the way and puts it aside, Allah would appreciate it and forgive him. The Holy Prophet (may peace be upon him) said: The martyrs are of five kinds: one who dies of plague; one who dies of diarrhoea (or cholera) ; one who is drowned; one who is buried under debris and one who dies fighting in the way of Allah.

The quran promises 72 virgins for a Muslim martyr (which Allah's Apostle defined above). Their are many questions that need to be answered concerning 72 virgins ( As well, it should be noted that Allah's Apostle was truly a forward thinker, an innovater as he changed the meaning of martyr from the western understanding where it is a victim who is either: "a person who voluntarily suffers death as the penalty of witnessing to and refusing to renounce a religion" or "a person who sacrifices something of great value and especially life itself for the sake of principle"

But, in Allah's Apostle's infinite sexual superiority over all people (like his sexual strength of 30 men - []) Allah's Apostle (SAW) did not tell Holy Muslim Martyrs how to approach these hourys.

However, as a favor to all Muslim martyrs, the author of this blog has come up with some conversational lines (pick-up lines) to help get these divine helpers of Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) to break the ice with these ladies with perpetual virginity [unless ofcourse, they were meant to be perpetual virgins and not meant to be conquered by the holy martyrs - now that would be a shock - imagine dying for Allah and his Apostle, promised 72 beautiful perpetual virgins, and they would be perpetual only because you could not touch them? That would be a fate worse than Hell, which coincidentally is where Allah lives, torturing his creation who he pre-destined not to follow him)

1) One who dies of Plague

- I want to go bubonic on yo' ass
- Damn, you know I'm contagious
- Come here girl, it's not like I've got coodies

2) One who dies of diarrhoea (or cholera)

- Hey baby, you know I can't keep my love in when I see you

3) One who is drowned

- Hey sweet thang, I drowned as practice to hold my breath when I get to be with you.

4) One who is buried under debris

- You know, I want to bury my head between your legs (yeah this was dirty, but something Allah's Apostle [may peace be upon him] would enjoy)
- Baby, I love to play hide and seek.

5) One who dies fighting in the way of Allah.

- I'm a lover, not a fighter. Wait take that back, I'm a fighter, not a lover. Wait, that's no good, let's put this way, I'm rough in the sack.
- You know, I'm lke a firecracker, you know I'll explode

Hope these help. Please feel free to send n more suggestions as help for Islamic Martyrs!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Mohammad predicted in the Bible (Tawrat (Old Testament))

Was Holy Prophet Mohammad (May Peace Be upon Him) Predicted in the Tawrat? Apparently YES!

The vision Holy Prophet Isaiah saw is eerily similar to how the Holy Prophet Mohammad started his prophetic mission, and the effects it caused those following him:

"The whole vision has become to you like the words of a book that is sealed, which men deliver to one who is literate, saying, 'Read this, please.'And he says, 'I cannot, for it is sealed.'
Then the book is delivered to one who is illiterate, saying, “Read this, please.”
And he says, 'I am not literate.'Therefore the Lord said:'Inasmuch as these people draw near with their mouths. And honor Me 'with their lips, But have removed their hearts far from Me, And their fear toward Me is taught by the commandment of men, Therefore, behold, I will again do a marvelous work. Among this people, a marvelous work and a wonder; For the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, And the understanding of their prudent men shall be hidden.'" Isaiah 29:11-14

How Islam started:
BukhariVolume 9, Book 87, Number 111: Narrated 'Aisha:
The angel came to him in it and asked him to read. The Prophet replied, "I do not know how to read." (The Prophet added), "The angel caught me (forcefully) and pressed me so hard that I could not bear it anymore. He then released me and again asked me to read, and I replied, "I do not know how to read," whereupon he caught me again and pressed me a second time till I could not bear it anymore. He then released me and asked me again to read, but again I replied, "I do not know how to read (or, what shall I read?)." Thereupon he caught me for the third time and pressed me and then released me and said, "Read: In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists). Has created man from a clot. Read and Your Lord is Most Generous...up to..... ..that which he knew not." (96.15)

The start of Islam was already discussed earlier when discussing How Holy Prophet Mohammad (May Peace beUpon Him) was a disturbed individual contemplating suicide many times (

But the above verse from Isaiah and Aisha's account seem very similar. Isaiah foresaw someone receiving a book, who could not read. He still managed to deliver a message where people worship a god, where they do so by their words, but their spirits are far from God. This is like Mohammad's teachings which are more bodily rather than spiritual:

The results of Isaiah's prophecy are strikingly similar to the Muslim world, where all individual thought is suppressed (; common sense and decency thrown out the window (
and so many other things, like issuing fatwas about whether Old Muslim men can thigh their young, pre-menstrating brides before sex in order so that they could get off:
(The English translation of the Fatwah is provided in comment 1)
or how a man must be suckled by a woman who is not his relative in order to work togethor in the same office as her ( (Ofcourse, this was a result of where Mohammad forbid adoption so he could marry his former adopted son's wife)

What does this mean? Praise be to Allah! Mohammad (May Peace be upon him) was predicted!!! The Tawrat was right!!!

There are three possible scenarios that come from this
1) If one believes that Isaiah's message has been corrupted, please see the following video at:
2) If one thinks this is a logical fallacy and assert that Bukhari, and Muslim, holy Hadith writers had access to the Tawrat verses in question, and inserted this verse to show that Holy Prophet Mohammad was predicted, then it implicitly means that Holy Hadith authors were making fun of Prophet Mohammad and the society that he brought
3) If one thinks the Tawrat is authentic, and that Holy Hadith writers did not know about this verse or were reporting the truth, then maybe Illah (the real Arabic word for God - Allah is a name of a god in the original pagan kabba - afterall, Mohammad's father's name was AbdAllah [slave to the moon god named Allah]) foretold of Holy Prophet Mohammad in a negative way.

Afterall Mohammad cavorted with a race of Jinn, (demonic spirits) and as a favour to them, only managed to get the Jinn animal dung or bone because they were such nice Jinn. How much would he do for you, as an individual, if you follow him?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Dream Interpretation: Oh Allah's Apostle... Sexual as always...

Sahih Bukhari 1:2:22

Narrated Abu Said Al-Khudri: Allah's Apostle said, "While I was sleeping I saw (in a dream) some people wearing shirts of which some were reaching up to the breasts only while others were even shorter than that. Umar bin Al-Khattab was shown wearing a shirt that he was dragging." The people asked, "How did you interpret it? (What is its interpretation) O Allah's Apostle?" He (the Prophet ) replied, "It is the Religion."

So what is the religion, I dare ask? People wearing shirts up to the breasts?
1) Was Allah's Apostle the inventor of the wet T-Shirt contest?
a) Why was Allah's Apostle dreaming about people wearing shirts up to their breasts, and "even shorter than that"?
b) Was Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) dreaming of hot girls?
c) Are hot girls part of the Apostle's religion?
i) Especially where Allah's Apostle would get divine revelations while he slept with his child bride Aisha (aka receiving Quran surahs)
2) Could one make the argument that Allah's Apostle was just a really horny guy?
a) Did Allah's Apostle constantly have sex on his mind?
b) Especially where he had the sexual strength of 30 men?
c) Where the first Muslims were so intrigued by all the semen that he produced and the method he would use to clean himself from all that semen?
d) The fact that he decided not divore his old and fat wife Sauda on condition that she gave up her turn in the sack?
e) How he made a rule that WOMEN MUST SHAVE THEIR PUBIC REGIONS, in addition to shaving their palms, etc.?
i) So many conquests of women that "When Abu Sufyan learned that the Prophet had taken her, he said, 'That stallion's nose is not to be restrained!'"Tabari VIII:110
g) That the apostle made sure that wives have to be submissive to a husband's call for sex?
h) Or just because the Allah's Apostle "was the sexual libertine that we all know and worship"
3) To quote Allah's Apostle (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) "It is the Religion."

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Dream interpretation of a black woman

Bukhari Volume 9, Book 87, Number 163:
Narrated Salim's father The Prophet said, "I saw (in a dream) a black woman with unkempt hair going out of Medina and settling in Mahai'a. I interpreted that as (a symbol of) epidemic of Medina being transferred to Mahai'a, namely, Al-Juhfa."

When Prophet Mohammad dreamt of a black woman in his dream, he disparaged blacks once more to show that black people are a sign of epidemic.

So what does this mean?
1) If you have a dream about Halle Berry, does this mean that you an epidemic will befall you?
a) Does this mean that you are a pervert if you think about black women?
b) Does Mohammad implicitly say that dreaming of black women is morally wrong as thinking about black women are a form of epidemic?
c) That black women are a bad omen?
d) Or just black people in general?
2) Does Mohammad say this because he viewed black women as ugly?
a) Did Mohammad (May peace be upon him) get a venereal disease after sleeping with one of the black women?
b) Or just get rejected by black women?
3) Is this Dr. Mohammad again, dterming that an epidemic will occur when one starts to thinking of black women?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Mohammad and the first privacy laws...

Volume 9, Book 83, Number 38a:
Narrated Anas:
A man peeped into one of the dwelling places of the Prophet. The Prophet got up and aimed a sharp-edged arrow head (or wooden stick) at him to poke him stealthily.

Volume 9, Book 83, Number 38:
Narrated Sahl bin Sa'd As-Sa'idi:
A man peeped through a hole in the door of Allah's Apostle's house, and at that time, Allah's Apostle had a Midri (an iron comb or bar) with which he was rubbing his head. So when Allah's Apostle saw him, he said (to him), "If I had been sure that you were looking at me (through the door), I would have poked your eye with this (sharp iron bar)." Allah's Apostle added, "The asking for permission to enter has been enjoined so that one may not look unlawfully (at what there is in the house without the permission of its people)."

1) Was Mohammad a privacy advocate?
a) Did Mohammad not like it when people would peep into his house?
b) Why would Mohammad (may peace be upon him) be angry about this when he is the most perfect human being ever, and everyone wanted to know how he conducted his private life to be like him?

2) Does this mean that Mohammad hates spyware?
a) Does he command Muslims to go to spyware disseminators and poke their eyes out?
b) How about the eyes of government officials who spy on people?
c) Does Mohammad hate "Big Brother"?
d) Would the Big Mo poke out "Big Brother's" eyes out?

3) Why did Mohammad hate it when people watched him in his house?
a) He did not mind it when Abu Aiyub Al-Ansari and 'Abdullah bin 'Umar watched Mohammad take a dump? Were they the original religious voyeurs?
b) How about by the fact that Sulaiman bin Yasar would always inquire about Mohammad's semen stains to Aisha?
c) Does this mean it is okay to spy on someone feces, but not personal lives?
d) I am so confused??? Why did Allah's Apostle not get upset at the latter two, but get angry about someone watching him through a peephole?

4) Was Mohammad merciful?
a) If he poked his eye out?
b) Should all Muslims poke out eyes of people inquiring about their business?